I Times Failure

When you fall into the road of failure,

remember that you have always to stand again,

and by standing, start to take a step and continue to walk 

your beautiful journey.

If you let failure to devour you,

you will forever be crippled.

Remember the strength you have

and use it to make a stand.

Life is even crueler if you don't try to push yourself.

Never say "I can't" 'coz I believe you can.

You are unique and wonderfully made.

Do not be ashamed of show yourself.

A Miraculous Whirlwind

It was Monday afternoon when my aunt and I were preparing the things of my uncle and his wife for their travel going to our province. We were happily and gladly talking with each other until a strong wind suddenly covered the place with momentary darkness. The people were shouting because of its strength and they were even all terrified to see it. When the wind stopped blowing, we heard some noises outside so out of curiosity, my uncle went out to check what was happening there. It was my youngest brother's head who had been covered with blood. “Tita, tita!” he said. The skin of his head was pierced by the roof that had been accidentally thrown out to him during the whirlwind. When my aunt saw that my brother’s head was continuously bleeding, she quickly ran unto him to grab the skin and tried to compress it together to stop the bleeding. We went to the hospital and the doctor speedily put my brother into the emergency room. The doctor only allowed one person to get in so what I did was to wait for them. I didn't know what to do but to just stand outside of the emergency room until I suddenly decided to text my friends and my church mates to pray for him.

Oh my Lord and my God!

Your love never fails.

Though many times I fail to love you, oh please hear my prayer once again and do not abandon us this time because we really need you at this very moment.

We have nothing in hand oh God as you can see.

We cannot afford to pay all the expenses that we might have for this so in you alone I trust everything.

I do believe that miracles happen in times when things are difficult to understand.

I do believe that with tears in my eyes you will help us and answer this plea of mine.

You are the owner of our life so in you I request it to give more extensions to my brother.

I do not know what to do if anything bad will happen to him worst yet is his death.

Please forgive me if I did anything wrong which makes you really mad but please oh my Savior God do not let my innocent brother suffers because of what we've done.

You know since I was a child that my only hope is my family especially my brothers who have been my inspiration to continue living.

I know you will never do this without any reason and so oh God, give us strength to face this. Help us and let your will be done. Amen.

In my strong faith in God, he answered my prayer and my brother was miraculously survived. At first Iwas really worried about him because his brain might be affected of the damage but thanks be to God, my brother is alive and well. There was nothing happened to his skull. 

I strongly believe that it was not because of my prayer why God let my brother live but I think, it’s because of my brother’s purpose in life which is not yet done.

Free

Meditation #5

 

Being free is not by doing whatever you want to

but it is by doing valuable things in life.

Sweetness of Bitterness

Chapter 5: The Song of the Queen

"Quick! Run as fast as you can!” a small voice echoed somewhere in tremendous space. A woman wearing yellow dress and eye glasses but wearing a red cap is trying to get me. I do not know her intentions and the reason why she keeps on chasing after me, all I know is I don’t want to see her ugly and scary face by turning my head on my back. After a long time of avoiding her presence, I feel that my heart beats in tremble and my brain scattered into pieces. No matter how I try to dodge and escape from her, she still can track my way and get on me behind. I am so tired running and thinking how to end this race I am in.  I am even using only one foot just for me not to be caught by this scary woman who is after my life.

Until I suddenly feel that there is a heavy force collided on my face. It was my mom trying to wake me up. My face is wet and and my eyes are tearful. I feel relieved to know that it was just only a dream so I take a deep breath and try to relax  and calm myself. It is too early and still dark but I should prepare my things in school. So, I pick my notebooks on the floor and put them inside my bag. I take a bath, dry my body with a towel, and wear my crumpled uniform. I comb my hair while looking in front of the mirror but the man inside of it seems uncomfortable to look at and it is such uneasy feeling to stare even longer in his eyes.  

Things are all settled. Well, I think, everything is already settled. As I pass through the door, I see the dark sky which makes the whole place terrible but it never shakes me in fear; while in fact, I enjoyed walking alone in the street. I feel free of being alone where no one can tell anything against me and where I can only hear the sound of unlimited silence of darkness.

While walking on my way to school , I peer on the cloudy sky. A little while, the clouds move aside and give way to their queen. The queen shows her astonishing gown that lightens up the whole place and reveals the hidden city. Even then, I am amazed to her beauty, so in gladness I sing,

 "Oh, hail the queen!

Your beauty never fades.

You are still the queen of the ages and generation to generation

still acknowledges you.

Even if no one will tell about you, we, your people,

will still recognize you because

 your name is written in our hearts.

I am always in wonder every time

I look at you,

I am satisfied every time I see you.

I feel that I am alone with someone.

I always hear your whisper on the breezing air,

and through you I can clearly see my way with your lambency.

 

 As I sing at the middle of the dark path of loneliness and sadness, the queen replied with its beautiful gleam,

“My child, my child, oh my dearest child,

I always think of you every night.

Though you see me at a far distance, remember that I am still here to give you light,

When darkness came, do not be afraid, this only means that

My light shines even brighter at times where you walk in the valley of the shadows. 

I am not the one who shows the beauty of the night but it is the King from far behind who is the source of everything I have in might."

Father and Child

Meditation #4

An innocent child is being cared 

by a father,

so as God who is our father in heaven

cares for those people

whose hearts are dependent 

and submissive to him.

A father will look for his child

if it wanders on the wilderness,

he will do everything to find his precious child,

so as God in heaven who is so willing to bring you back

to the life you'd lost.

Even though it is hard for a father 

to leave his child to work,

he will do this sacrifice for the good and better future 

of his child.

How much more to the Father above us

who sacrificed His precious child

for our redemption.

Time passes and goes by. 

Time comes when a child can stand for 

his own reason.

His father will then let the child to

choose which path to take.

So as God will then now let us choose and use our

free will to accept him, when time is enough

and right to decide.

Let Me Never Make You Sad

Lord, I'm sorry.

I am not worthy to face you,

yet you're there for me.

My sin conquers me,

and clothe me with shame:

but Lord, here I am,

 asking for help and correction,

praying for my soul to be forgiven.

Lord I know you'll forgive me as I repent,

you still love me and you still care for me.

Lord, please!

Let me know you more,

because I want to glorify your name.

Let my life shine with you light,

and let the darkness flee away from me.

Your word is a lamp that guides my feet,

and a light for my path.

Mold me.

Let me never make you sad.

 

Sweetness of Bitterness

Chapter 4: The Little Flower

The weather seems good today, the sky is clear and the sun shows its beautiful brilliance. I am so excited to walk outside the field with my little flower. I wear my slippers, comb my hair and look myself in the mirror. The mirror reflects its character and shows me his beautiful smile. When things are now settled, I hold my little flower’s right hand; we step out together in happiness and excitement. We are both excited to see the sun. I let go of her hands as we reached the place and let her wave with the wind. As she walks through the grassy field of where we are standing, I am just at a distance where I can only reach her with my sight. She looks very lovely and lively; white skin, pinkish lips and teary eyes make the totality of the bliss of her presence. I feel comforted every time I see her. She is my little flower that makes my day. While playing with the dragon flies, a snake suddenly comes out behind her from the grass and bites her left lower leg. I am shocked when I saw my little flower was bitten by the snake. I do not know what to do. My muscles compressed and I feel the difficulty of breathing and I cannot able to move until I see her falling on the ground. I run to her with tears, hold her back and tell her if she is all right. She doesn’t speak and she only looks at me. The longer she stares at me with no words to hear from her, the more I am being terrified to what will happen next. Her muscles started to turn into stone and her eyes never get to close again and when I touch her chest, it never dances again. The tears from my eyes started to flow and never stops until evening came. The people seek and find us; they found us and came in great number. I am still in great desolation when I heard one of the crowd said that I murder my sister.

It was six months ago since the last time I see my little flower. Mom and dad knew that it was a snake bite that killed my sister. Dad knows and understands that it was only an accident but the pain is still scratching his heart as he remembers Beverly. Things are getting tougher and tougher. Since the day Beverly died, mom and dad are getting worst with their relationship. I feel that I was the one who killed my sister. I never thought that everything will come this way. I know I can never change history and the only thing that I can do for now is to accept the present and live for it. I wake up early in the morning to prepare my things for school. Why is it I am much excited to go to school than to stay here? I feel no place here as if I do not belong here and I am only a stranger. When I get to the school and found the room, I see that my classmates are intensely looking at me and it was so strange that they are all look pale. The ground suddenly shakes and the room becomes darker and darker so I turn behind to run away through the door but I saw a woman standing in front of it. She is so tall to look at; her skin is brown, short hair and blazing eyes.

Sweetness of Bitterness

Chapter 3: Unstoppable Pain

I got beaten by my mother each day. I do not know the reason why she treated me this way. Why is she doing this to me? What did I do wrong? If I only had a chance to record all these things and chance to make her watch the video, maybe somehow, she will realize everything, how cruel she is, and how desperate I am to stop her. There were times that because I am usually beaten by my mother, I stop crying. And even if how hard she tries to make me cry, I just ignore all the pain. I stare at her eyes and I have been trying to capture her soul. She was scared of me at that time because I never cry. Then she said, “You were the reason why you sister died!” An echo of consciousness came into my head and I begin again to question myself,” Is it really because of me why my sister died? Am I really a murderer?” The pain of these words my mother sprinkled upon my soul dig deep into my heart. This pain never stops and It seems that the world is laughing at me and the people are pointing their finger at me with mockery and insult, “This child is a murderer!”