Sweetness of Bitterness

Chapter 2: A Bright Nightmare

I am only 7 years old but then why am I here in a world which I do not belong. I should think faster than a child. I should pull the trigger and shoot the target. Many things come into my mind, things that are yet to come. What will be my future? How I wish to have a happy family like those kids have in the movies I am usually watching. These things play in my mind with vast imagination while lying on the floor at the middle of the dark room. I heard the door opened, and there are voices of a man and a woman quarreling and fighting against each other’s side of limitless doubt. I know, it’s my mom and dad. It is 2 o’clock in the morning and it’s still dark when they finished their annoying argument. I do not know the reason why they are always in conflict every night. I think that it is normal and there is nothing to worry about.

I wake up early in the morning and I hear voices of not just one person but of many persons. I come to my senses and I am really sure that there is something outside that the crowd is looking at. It was my mother throwing all the stuffs of my father. My father is then picking up all his clothes and put in inside his bag. I have no idea what is happening. I can’t figure out how did it started. The crowd is even more increasing in number and they don’t to miss any single thing in this great scene. With wide eyes open, the people are chatting with each other. I do not know what they are actually saying but I only hear coos and great noises. Then I go back to where I should be looking to. My mom is chasing my father with a knife in her hands. She pierced the surface layer of his skin. Papa is trying to escape with a bloody arm while holding his bag. It was – my father who is running away but why is it I feel nothing about it? Mom grab my hands and talk me gently, “We are abandoned by your father. So from now on, think as if you had no father,” she said. When I heard the word “abandoned”, I realized I was hurt. I started to feel anger with my father and started to question myself, “Why did he do that to us? Is it really his intention to abandon us since from the start?” We are now totally devastated, broken and destructed. When evening came, I run away from our house and try to seek for a place where no one can see me crying. I finally found an open field where I can shout and grieve freely as I can. With deep sadness in my heart and tears falling in my eyes, I question the moon, “Why you are so unfair? There were so families out there who deserve to be like this but why me, us? Why my family? I deserve to be loved because I long for it. I deserve to have a happy family because I wish to have it.” A little while, my heart calmed down and my tears went gone.  I walk back to the house and due to the hallow spirit I am in, I lie down to sleep, thinking that everything will be fine and when I wake up, it will be just an ordinary day and I will face the day which is not the day I was with now.